This is a self inner observation during a painting process. Now I fully understand what Henri Matisse meant by "creativity takes courage". In order to create anything original, we don't know where the destination is, you need to just start, trust your instinct, experiment and be "willing to do something that might not work" then "you're closer to becoming an artist.” — Seth Godin. 

If you are anything like me, I will start a painting, thinking, planning, not so sure what to do, then once the background paint is on, I start to think, oh, is it too dark, too bright, too muted…. Then start the first few brush strokes, oh, the composition might be off, not sure if the colors going to work, well, I already started, might as well paint something. Em, this painting might not turn out well…maybe waste of time… the flowers are so scatter, what am I thinking? Maybe next time I should sketch it in or draw it first? Okay, it looks like it going to get somewhere, I kind of like it now, with a few fixes here and there it will look good. Well, it actually looks better than I thought, I am not bad an artist after all…

I love the end result of this painting, it is nothing like what I had originally intended, an accidental beauty. I've been admired impressionistic paintings as long as I can remember. Like Auguste Renoir "I'm in love with the sun and with the reflections in the water, and to paint them I would go around the world".

Is your inner critic loud as mine? One way I find effective for me to conquer it is just simply start painting. No matter how much fear and doubt you have at the beginning. Just begin and let it flow, if you are in the middle of it, keep painting, don't stop. In the end this inner critic demon will be gone. Creativity takes courage.

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